I am now making phone calls to friends to simply say “hello how are you”

My Smartphone-free challenge – September 2023

I have been following the work of Punkt for many years and have always been intrigued about the prospect and challenges of living a more balanced lifestyle in this crazy world of the smartphone and other digital based realities.

Some context and disclosure. I have been a digital “knowledge worker” for over 24 years and have participated in the unbridled growth of the digital realm, I have built and seen both the upside and downside of digital technology and its impact on individuals and businesses. From installing “systems” that eliminate jobs, putting people out of work, and for some in their later years, little or no prospect of finding meaningful and sustaining employment – this always tore me apart, to building registries that would automatically notify specific doctors, based on their specialty, of emergencies that require their services. The resulting emotional dichotomy was challenging at best, it was like being stuck on a roller coaster.

As I lived my life and raised my children, I tried to use the smartphone as a positive enabling device and as a method to be relevant to them, I used to joke with colleagues about Blackberry being a member of our family. Over time the smartphone, the apps, and social media, with all their underpinnings became ubiquitous in my family.

Once I came to this realization, I could see that it had all gone to far and started to realize the impact on my family’s ability to manage day to day interactions with each other:

Through txt and other instant communication apps we were in each other face all day which at times became very un-healthy emotionally and lead to some long-standing internal feuds.
Missing was the face-to-face interaction and the emotional communication facilitated by talking or sitting together. This often led to misunderstanding and assumed erroneous subtext.
The very human and natural cadence of respectful discussion or disagreement that allows space for meaningful reflection and reconciliation was often crushed, leading to sarcasm and embedded links for justification which often seemed cruel and self-serving.
The only upside that I can see from all of this is the exchange of pictures and good news. However, it all gets lost in the realm of the digital world. Try to find that picture she sent a couple of months ago, or where did I file that picture of…. etc.

How has the smartphone-free challenge impacted my relationships?

It took some time and difficulty for me to ween off the smartphone. Leaving the realm of apps and instant social communication behind reminded me of when I quit smoking cigarettes many years ago. The emotional need to jump into digital based social interaction was a times overwhelming – what will I miss, my thoughts and input will be missed for sure etc.

Initially I missed some of the apps that I thought that I could not survive without – my weather and banking apps etc. I now have plenty of time now to look out the window and make a judgment on the weather - I’m rarely wrong. I can now complete online tasks in my own time and at a pace that I set – I’m in control. I now see a direct link between my emotional well being and smartphone apps – the less apps that I have the happier I am. Do I really need to install an app to manage everything in my life?

As a result of not being so busy managing apps, their updates, notifications, alerts, and demands, I am spending more time in pursuit of things that I have never had time for:

Becoming the best family member that I can
Writing in my notebook – call it a journal.
Studying music and photography
Being open and sensitive to “new things” – this is very exciting as I can now more easily “let go” and enjoy life in the moment.

The MP02 provides me with phone call and txt capabilities that make sense, over the last month I have become very comfortable and happy utilizing these two methods of communication:

I make a phone call to my children when I feel like I want to talk to them, they are all now adults living their own lives. I hear their voices, feel their emotions, and can participate directly and communicate more clearly. As their parent, I can offer advice on a phone call or face to face in a manner that is more respectful, supportive, and sensitive. It is amazing the difference a few good spoken words can make compared to the potential miscommunication and insensitivity of a social media response– this brings me happiness and contentment and I like to think it helps them.

I am now making phone calls to friends to simply say “hello how are you” and we talk for a long-time exchanging ideas and comments– this brings me happiness and contentment. If I have a disagreement or feel I need to communicate something painful to someone, I now call to arrange a face to face or discuss with them on the call, this has always ended in a positive way, either by direct resolution or an agreement to keep working at it.

I am very grateful to have been part of this challenge and it has been very successful for me. I feel far more optimistic about things in general and have new insights on ways to build better relationships with my family and friends as well as my own needs and challenges as they arise. I now have computers and apps under control and allow them to provide support to me as required, not run my life.

Thank you Punkt!!

Michael